The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
