May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
