FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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