That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
