Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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