If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
