The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
