everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
