thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
