Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
