I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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