Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
This is the high leading the old right now
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
