I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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