If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize