Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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