it was like eating out sand paper
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize