we should wear snuggies to the strip club
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
