everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
