Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Come see our sink grown plant.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
