Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
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