i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
