I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
