Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
