this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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