My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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