I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
