Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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