At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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