And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
