I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
