guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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