We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
