this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
