I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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