My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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