he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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