I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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