I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
