I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
