Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
