Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize