piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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