The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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