it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
