seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
