Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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