i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
