I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
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