Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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