Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize