just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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