I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
She needs sedatives and a leash
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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