I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
